WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

Comrade Gritty's

Managed by Mikhail A · Ranked #10 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

0–3

Points For

291.3

Points Against

463.5

Streak

L-3

The Manager

Verified human (allegedly)

Mikhail · Brooklyn, NY · Philadelphia Eagles fan · Two or three years in the league

A Brooklyn-based, all-Philly sports fan in his second or third year. A strong player by every measure except the one that gets your name on the hammer. The East Coast's best hope.

League titles: 0 — still chasing

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 100.1 points per game (Week 1: 112.6, Week 2: 87.6), a -25.0 trend, season high of 112.6 and a floor of 87.6. The arrow is pointing into the turf.

At 0-3, things are bleak. Not 'we need to make a trade' bleak — 'we need to make a lifestyle change' bleak. The good news: it literally cannot get worse. The bad news: we said that last week too.

Their 291.3 points are the fewest in the league. To be fair, scoring was optional this season and they opted out. Bold strategy.

Currently on a L-3 skid. The manager has been seen refreshing the waiver wire at 3am. We've all been there. Most of us left.

Homer watch: Mikhail is repping Philadelphia Eagles with DeVonta Smith on the roster. Drafting with your heart is a strategy. It's just not a good one.

The difference-makers: Drake Maye, Chase Brown, Travis Etienne Jr., DeVonta Smith. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, Comrade Gritty's can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“Injuries are just God's waiver wire.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · NE

Drake Maye

Week 3 vs JAX: a middle-of-the-pack JAX defense.

QB · JAX

Trevor Lawrence

Week 3 vs NE: Mike Fanelli's sit of the week: New England has held QBs to 8.8 fantasy points per game, 4th-fewest in the NFL.

RB · CIN

Chase Brown

Week 3 vs PIT: a middle-of-the-pack PIT defense.

RB · NO

Travis Etienne Jr.

Week 3 vs LV: a middle-of-the-pack LV defense.

WR · PHI

DeVonta Smith

Week 3 vs CHI: a middle-of-the-pack CHI defense.

WR · GB

Matthew Golden

Thursday final: banked ~21.0 pts (5 catches for 100 yards and a TD).

The Roster

17 players, 15 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Drake Maye	NE	Certified bucket-getter.
RB	Chase Brown	CIN	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Travis Etienne Jr.	NO	Someone's fantasy team had to have him.
WR	DeVonta Smith	PHI	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Matthew Golden	GB	A cornerstone. Of something.
WR	Romeo Doubs	NE	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
TE	Tucker Kraft	GB	Certified bucket-getter.
RB	Jadarian Price	SEA	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
QB	Trevor Lawrence	JAX	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	Rashid Shaheed	SEA	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.
TE	Brenton Strange	JAX	Certified bucket-getter.
RB	Kaelon Black	SF	On the roster. Technically.
QB	Marcus Mariota	WAS	A cornerstone. Of something.
RB	Zach Charbonnet	SEA	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Alec Pierce	IND	On the roster. Technically.
K	Jake Bates	DET	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
DEF	Seahawks	SEA	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Iron Jayden	L	112.6 – 129.6	A loss. The film has been burned.
Week 2	Trick Play Kristen	L	87.6 – 172.5	A massacre. There will be a 30-for-30 about this.
Week 3	mikey_smokes_meat	L	91.1 – 161.4	A massacre. There will be a 30-for-30 about this.

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