WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT /// WAIVER WIRE RESULTS: GORDON TO BUCCING CURSE. FOR $29, ALLEN TO SCOOBIES FOR $31, RAYMOND TO THE COMMISH FOR $30 +++ FINAL: Marnie BEAT MrBigChest'sWildRide 151.0-123.6 +++ FINAL: Trick Play Kristen BEAT THOR 140.6-106.3 +++ FINAL: Amon-Ra Doggin BEAT Conspiracy Theory 148.2-138.6 +++ FINAL: mikey_smokes_meat BEAT Comrade Gritty's 161.4-91.1 +++ FINAL: immadi's Blitzers BEAT Iron Jayden 143.6-123.5 +++ FINAL: MrBigChest is a buccing curse. BEAT Screamin' Scoobies 133.3-129.9 +++ WEEK 3 IN THE BOOKS — ALL SIX GAMES FINAL +++ Marnie LEAD THE LEAGUE IN SCORING AND WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT IT +++ BIGGEST BLOWOUT: Trick Play Kristen HUNG 84.9 ON Comrade Gritty's +++ HOT TAKE HANK EATS ANOTHER HAT (HAT COUNT: 0, HATS OWNED: 0) +++ Conspiracy Theory SCORE POINTS, WIN NOTHING, DEMAND RECOUNT +++ SPREADSHEET STEVE CORRECT AGAIN, INVITED TO ZERO PARTIES +++ THE COMMISSIONER IS IN LAST PLACE AND EVERY RULING IS NOW SUSPECT

immadi's Blitzers

Managed by immadi · Ranked #8 in the Fake News Power Rankings

Record

2–1

Points For

399.3

Points Against

368.1

Streak

W-1

The Manager

Verified human (allegedly)

Manoj · Naperville / Chicago, IL · Green Bay Packers fan · Original member — Year 10

A Packers fanatic and league original who came agonizingly close to the title last year. Ten seasons, no championships, infinite group-chat material — especially after the AI-autodraft era began.

League titles: 0 — came achingly close last year

Scouting Report

Compiled by interns

By the numbers: 127.8 points per game (Week 1: 192.9, Week 2: 62.8), a -130.1 trend, season high of 192.9 and a floor of 62.8. The arrow is pointing into the turf.

At 2-1, immadi's Blitzers are one of the league's last unbeatens. The parade route is being planned. The parade will be one guy in a jersey honking a horn, but still.

Riding a W-1 streak into this week. Momentum is real, say people who have never watched fantasy football.

Homer watch: Manoj is repping Green Bay Packers with Christian Watson on the roster. Drafting with your heart is a strategy. It's just not a good one.

After going from Week 1's top scorer to Week 2's lowest at 62.80 points, scientists are studying whether the AI autodraft achieved sentience just to embarrass him. Findings are inconclusive. The embarrassment is not.

The difference-makers: Malik Willis, Bijan Robinson, D'Andre Swift, Malik Nabers. If two of them hit on the same Sunday, immadi's Blitzers can beat anyone in this league. If none do — well, the game log tells that story.

“We're not rebuilding. We're pre-building. There's a difference. We'll explain later.”

Difference Makers

The names that decide Sundays

QB · MIA

Malik Willis

Week 3 vs KC: a middle-of-the-pack KC defense.

QB · NYG

Jameis Winston

Week 3 vs TEN: starts with Jaxson Dart out for the season, but heavy rain and wind are expected in East Rutherford.

RB · ATL

Bijan Robinson

Thursday final: banked ~35.3 pts (29 carries for 194 yards and 2 TDs).

RB · CHI

D'Andre Swift

Week 3 vs PHI: likely catching passes from 38-year-old Case Keenum on Monday night.

WR · NYG

Malik Nabers

Week 3 vs TEN: heavy rain/wind in East Rutherford plus a backup quarterback.

WR · GB

Christian Watson

Thursday final: banked ~22.6 pts (7 catches for 96 yards and a TD).

The Roster

17 players, 15 of whom have names we recognize

Pos	Player	NFL Team	Fake News Grade
QB	Malik Willis	MIA	Boom-or-bust. Mostly bust. But BOOM.
RB	Bijan Robinson	ATL	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
RB	D'Andre Swift	CHI	A warm body with a helmet.
WR	Malik Nabers	NYG	A cornerstone. Of something.
WR	Christian Watson	GB	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
WR	Parker Washington	JAX	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
TE	Brock Bowers	LV	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
RB	Rachaad White	WAS	Vibes are immaculate. Production is not.
QB	Jameis Winston	NYG	On the roster. Technically.
WR	Nico Collins	HOU	A cornerstone. Of something.
RB	Jonathon Brooks	CAR	The manager's favorite. Nobody knows why.
TE	Dallas Goedert	PHI	The glue guy. The glue is old.
WR	KC Concepcion Jr.	CLE	A cornerstone. Of something.
WR	Keenan Allen	IND	The glue guy. The glue is old.
RB	Jordan Mason	MIN	A cornerstone. Of something.
K	Cameron Dicker	LAC	A cornerstone. Of something.
DEF	Jaguars	JAX	Bye-week hero, every-week zero.

Game Log

Week	Opponent	Result	Score	Narrative
Week 1	Conspiracy Theory	W	192.9 – 136.1	A certified shellacking. The opponent's family was notified.
Week 2	Amon-Ra Doggin	L	62.8 – 108.6	A massacre. There will be a 30-for-30 about this.
Week 3	Iron Jayden	W	143.6 – 123.5	Handled business. Business has been handled.

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